****NEW YORK CITY SHOWCASE (DESIGNER LINE OF CLOTHING)….see it all at SWELL

****TWO WARS ARE BETTER THAN ONE…. some people die, some people make profits with u.s. army contracts. WAR

****HAPPY NEW YEAR?...one of the best things about staying alive for another year is that we can all look forward to whatever is the next great screw up by the folks who run this world of ours. come on, admit it. most of the politicians and world leaders are just a bag full of schmucks. did you know that the new york city police department had 100 officers on horses for the big times square bash? what did they do with all that shit? just ask me. did you know that james brown was going to appear at b.b. king's in times square on new yeat's eve? ask me about the movie i made with him.

****TOILET TALK….the best photo opportunity of 2006 was president bush passing his maid rice a note asking if he could go to the bathroom at a united nations meeting of world leaders.

****THE REPUBLICANS SAY THAT THERE IS NO GLOBAL WARMING….talk about shoveling cow turd. they sure weren't shoveling snow. december was so warm in new york city that the number one item sold was ice cream. did you know that china and india are killing their own people? they are tied for first place in pollution which is why we get more illegal indians and chinese than any other nationality into the big apple. they make the illegal mexicans look like small potatoes. WARM

****RODNEY DANGERFIELD COULD FINALLY GET RESPECT….fao schwarz, a toy store of some note, now has a policy that new york residents who can prove they are new yorkers (drivers license) go to the head of the line when entering the store. TOYS

****HERE IS THE GAG PHOTO OF 2006….the practice of law and ethics go together? new york city prides itself in having the most corrupt legal system in the nation. i could tell you tales that would make you shake….like did you know that the prisoners awaiting trial are kept in a place called the tombs?

****DEBIT CARD DEVELOPED FOR ILLEGAL ALIENS….rutgers university in new jersey, where you would not want to send you kid, is pushing this latest scam. so now, in addition to letting them be raped and murdered on the way to the united states from mexico and then being exploited by american businesses, the few dollars they earn can be gobbled up by the banks. new jersey the land of the "sopranos" is just where you would expect this to happen. new york city has said no to the idea because we don't screw everyone. RUTGERS

****THE NYC TOURIST BOARD WANTS YOU TO VISIT HARLEM….did they forget to mention that on new year's eve there was a running gun battle that involved 20 local residents? maybe those double decked tour buses need to be armor plated. A restaurant has been opened in manhattan on west 26th street with a harlem theme so white folks don't have to travel uptown. Here is the notice….

Coming this month to Chelsea: Harlem! Or at least a blaxploitation-flavored, seventies-fantasy version by Lesly Bernard, who, with Keith McNally, opened the Cold War-themed bar Pravda soon after the end of the Cold War and followed that with the celebrity-studded Clementine. Tillman's, Bernard's super-fly new lounge on West 26th Street, comes complete with beaded curtains, tufted leather booths lined with speakers, and sepia-toned photos of old men blowing smoke from their nostrils or playing brass instruments on Adam Clayton Powell Jr. Boulevard. It's located blocks from hip-hop nests like Diddy's Justin's, Shadow, and Groovedeck. But Harlem-if not the seventies facsimile of it-is only a short subway ride away. Why create Tillman's when the real thing is so accessible? "Nothing is more American than 1970s Harlem," explains Bernard, who quickly adds, "It's not a theme restaurant." But is it authentic? Blaxploitation-era author Darius James, a.k.a. Dr. Snakeskin, asks, "Is it going to have a free fried-chicken buffet? That would be authentic." There will not be a buffet. NOTHING BAD

****NO ONE AT THE UNITED NATIONS ON OUR FIRST AVENUE….seems to know where darfur is. i stood outside of the main building and asked people coming out where darfur was located in this world of ours. even though 400,000 people were slaughtered in that place with two million homeless, out of the 100 people i asked not one could tell me where it was. WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY

****CHEWY CHATTER (the gabby man interviews a real person for on-air presentation, but you can also hear it here. INTERVIEWS

****OLD TIME RADIO (shows you might be too young to remember)…."our miss brooks" took place in an era when the only danger in an american high school was spilling your milk on your clothing in the dining room. today, most new york city high schools have metal detectors at the door. THE PAST

****THE SNEAKY CAMERA (the hidden camera)….a growing collection of new yorkers are unaware that they are being watched by a certain taxi driver. new ones are added from time to time. take a peep at SNEAKY

****YENTA YACK FROM THE BACK OF THE HACK (what they are talking about in the yellow mobile conveyance lounge)….the new atm machines that "talk." You are given your instructions as to how to take money from your account by a voice. the next step is that when you don't have enough money in your account, the machine will say, "hey schmuck, can't you make a living?"

****QUIET PLEASE, THIS IS THE LIBRARY (get away from the din of life) for those of you who still love comics, there is going to be a big show in new york city next month. COMICS

****THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY (what the media didn't tell you)....circulation is so down for the new york times that it has to resort to giving out free copies. at least they sell a few. newsday, another new york city newspaper, lies about its circulation numbers. and by the way, we have never met anyone who actually bought a "usa today" newspaper. that is the one that they give out in hotels and motels for nothing.

****THE EARL THEATER (it used to be on 161st street in the bronx. new york city has lots of rich people, but it has many more people living in slums thanks to the inaction of the city government and crooked landlords. SLUM

(please note: when playing a movie on your computer, you should diminish the size of the frame. if you have a problem, please contact us.

**AND THAT NEAT MOVIE HOUSE ALWAYS SHOWED A DOUBLE FEATURE AND HERE WE ARE WITH A SECOND FLICK. this is a wonderful trip around new york city in the famous yellow mobile conveyance lounge. HONK HONK

****THE HEY ABBOTT AWARD (an epistle about life)....saddam could have just let the united nations examine his country and he would have then called george bush's bluff and there would have been no war and no one would be dead. how can we not give saddam the hey abbott award? if for nothing else, he wins it for being even more stupid than george bush. how come muslims in the big apple never demonstrate?

****STOP THE MUSIC (do you know what tv show this theme came from?)….this show was a great advertisement for our island state. TV

****THE MOST WANTED TOUR IN THE BIG APPLE…. here are some happy visitors. you too can have a tour by going to TOUR INFO

**to listen to what other happy tourists had to say about the tour, just go AUDIO

**to see some additional happy tourists perform in short video productions go VIDEO

**to hear broadcast spots about some of the places where folks are taken to, listen to these commercials that were created for a "visit new york city promotion" at SPOTS

****CELEBRITY SIGHTING (media adulation)….yoko ono in front of her apartment building. if you want to say hello to her, give her a call at 212 362 1448. the picture of her was taken thirty years ago. when we tried to take a picture of her this past week, the camera lens cracked. STAR

****JOKE DU JOUR (told to me by the passengers)….this month the punch line is "i am a taxi driver and it will cost you $25 to get back to town" and you can hear it at AUDIO

****TO HEAR A RECENT GABBY CABBY BROADCAST, CLICK HERE. LISTEN

****TO SEE GABBY CABBY TV PRESENTATIONS, CLICK HERE. SEE

****LISTEN TO THE LATEST VERSION OF "NEW YORK, NEW YORK….it is written and sung by jack servello LISTEN

****AND ON THE FLIP SIDE….this is an intro promotion made by the folks at chnl in kamloops, british columbia. LISTEN

****NEW YORK CITY SHOWCASE (DESIGNER LINE OF CLOTHING)….see it all at SWELL