04/30/06: The Week of April 30, 2006 IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE EXACT TIME IN NEW YORK CITY RIGHT NOW JUST CLICK HERE. TIME JUST PRESS THE START BUTTON IF YOU WANT TO HEAR THE MUSIC…. the song is the star spangled banner in spanish. read about plans for this song in the true tale below. ****NEW YORK CITY SHOWCASE (DESIGNER LINE OF CLOTHING)….see it all at SWELL ****LATE BREAKING NEWS (updated daily)…. it is our blog which changes every day. this time you can click on TODAY but in the future, you can go to it directly each day at http://epistle.blogs.com/. ****TWO WARS ARE BETTER THAN ONE…. some people die, some people make profits with u.s. army contracts. WAR ****THE GABBY CABBY FIELD OFFICE IN IRAQ (the largest staff of any media office in the middle east)….this week's exclusive true tale is that when united states army troops who are jewish wanted to celebrate passover recently they had to do it on the sneak so as not to upset the muslims. the united states army christian soldiers had to do the same thing when they wanted to celebrate easter. think of all the christians and jews in the united states army that are dying to help the ordinary muslims have some freedom from their despot mullahs who urge children to blow themselves up. think of all the young americans that are coming home wounded and crippled for life. once they get home to the united states, they will be able to go to a synagogue or a church without fear of retribution. ****THE UNITED STATES NATIONAL ANTHEM WILL BE SUNG IN SPANISH if the new york city teachers union has its way. even though george bush has said that it is a bad idea, the union that is responsible for the big apple having a terrible and dangerous school system wants it sung in the classrooms. ****GABBY CABBY TO PROHIBIT PASSENGERS WHO HAVE TAKEN XENICAL TO RIDE IN HIS TAXI….and he is urging all new york city cab drivers to do the same. this medicine supposedly helps in weight reduction, but side effects are flatulence and diarrhea. the drug is about to be sold over the counter in the big apple. ****SPEAK NEW YAWK (people will wonder at your sophistication)….a “zeeskyte” is a sweetie. ****OLD TIME RADIO (shows you might be too young to remember)….mel blanc was probably best known for the many voices he did for cartoon movies. THE PAST ****THE SNEAKY CAMERA (the hidden camera)….a growing collection of new yorkers are unaware that they are being watched by a certain taxi driver. new ones are added from time to time. take a peep at SNEAKY ****YENTA YACK FROM THE BACK OF THE HACK (what they are talking about in the yellow mobile conveyance lounge)….it looks like the pope is going to allow the use of condoms. no big deal for catholic new yorkers since most of them already use them and the priests know it. ****THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY (what the media didn't tell you)....warm weather is here and all over the city there are greenmarkets where farmers from the surrounding areas bring in their produce for the city slickers. they don’t collect sales tax, they don’t pay occupancy tax and they don’t pay income tax. they get a free ride from the city and the taxpayers who are dumb enough to pay taxes. by the way, they are not even inspected by the health department. ****THE EARL THEATER (it used to be on 161st street in the bronx. new york city has lots of rich people, but it has many more people living in slums thanks to the inaction of the city government and crooked landlords. SLUM (please note: when playing a movie on your computer, you should diminish the size of the frame. if you have a problem, please contact us. **AND THAT NEAT MOVIE HOUSE ALWAYS SHOWED A DOUBLE FEATURE AND HERE WE ARE WITH A SECOND FLICK. this is a wonderful trip around new york city in the famous yellow mobile conveyance lounge. HONK HONK ****THE HEY ABBOTT AWARD (an epistle about life)....julie myers is supposed to be in charging of catching illegal aliens. she should be sent to mexico to live since she is doing nothing for the united states. EPISTLE ****CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE BIZARRE (hard to believe)....anti george bush displays are popping up all over new york city. most of them are at public funded tax free institutions like the whitney museum. ****POSSIBILITIES (could it not be?)....a new plan from the teachers here in new york city to use duct tape to keep children in their seats. a teacher has already done it in brooklyn much to the upset of parents. ****STOP THE MUSIC (do you know what tv show this theme came from?)….everyone just hoped that they too could have their own witch living in their house. this particular witch was the kind that made you drool. TV ****AMMA'S KITCHEN (a recipe)….this is what you would find cooking in a nyc home)….nothing could be better than blueberry pancakes for an early morning breakfast. GOOD EATS ****JASON BLAIR AWARD (for the worst print journalism last week)….the reporting by the daily news that told about a hit and run killing on the west side highway. we were told that a girl was killed while crossing to get her car that had been towed away from an illegal parking spot by the city. it would have been nice if the publication had pointed out how many cars are damaged by the city traffic tow trucks. how much stuff is stolen from the cars by city traffic employees and how dangerous it is to get to the lot to get a car back? ****BENNY HILL AWARD (for the worst broadcast journalism last week)....the award goes to Z100 a radio station here in the city that has been using an automated telephone calling system urging people to listen to their station. it is a real pain when it catches you in the shower or about to sit down for dinner. ****THE MOST WANTED TOUR IN THE BIG APPLE…. here are some happy visitors. you too can have a tour by going to TOUR INFO **to listen to what other happy tourists had to say about the tour, just go AUDIO **to see some additional happy tourists perform in short video productions go VIDEO **to hear broadcast spots about some of the places where folks are taken to, listen to these commercials that were created for a "visit new york city promotion” at SPOTS ****CELEBRITY SIGHTING (media adulation)…. ed burns and some lady who we do not know. STAR ****JOKE DU JOUR (told to me by the passengers)….this week the punch line is “the drugs are wearing off” and you can hear it at AUDIO ****TO HEAR A RECENT GABBY CABBY BROADCAST, CLICK HERE. LISTEN ****TO SEE GABBY CABBY TV PRESENTATIONS, CLICK HERE. SEE ****LISTEN TO THE LATEST VERSION OF "NEW YORK, NEW YORK….it is written and sung by jack servello LISTEN ****AND ON THE FLIP SIDE….this is an intro promotion made by the folks at chill in kalmias, British Columbia. LISTEN ****NEW YORK CITY SHOWCASE (DESIGNER LINE OF CLOTHING)….see it all at SWELL