01/01/06: The Week of January 1, 2006 IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE EXACT TIME IN NEW YORK CITY RIGHT NOW JUST CLICK HERE. TIME JUST PRESS THE START BUTTON IF YOU WANT TO HEAR THE MUSIC…. the song is "bad people" by wilson pickett and it is our tongue in cheek salute to all the schmucks in 2005. ****NEW YORK CITY SHOWCASE (DESIGNER LINE OF CLOTHING)….see it all at SWELL ****LATE BREAKING NEWS (updated daily)…. it is our blog which changes every day. this time you can click on TODAY but in the future, you can go to it directly each day at http://epistle.blogs.com/. ****TWO WARS ARE BETTER THAN ONE…. some people die, some people make profits with u.s. army contracts. WAR ****FROM THE GABBY CABBY FIELD OFFICE IN IRAQ…. this week's exclusive true tale is that we are looking at a new "hundred years war" as long as america's corporations continue to make money on this deal. here is one tank commander who decided to tell it as it is. ****CHRISTMAS IN NEW YORK CITY WAS A FISCAL AND EMOTIONAL DISASTER….it was the worst "holiday" season since the world trade center attack and in some ways even meaner. everything you read in the media was one big fat lie. ****BUT SPIRIT THAT WAS LOST BY THE CHRISTIANS WAS MORE THAN MADE UP BY THE ORTHODOX JEWISH PEOPLE….for the first time in many years christmas and hanukah came out on the same day. the "chosen" people went out into the streets to urge jewish people to enjoy, enjoy, enjoy….oy vey. ****BESIDES THE GREAT PAY, HERE IS ANOTHER REASON TO JOIN THE NEW YORK CITY POLICE DEPARTMENT….it seems the helicopter cops have been peeping a little here and a little there. ****SPEAK NEW YAWK (people will wonder at your sophistication)…."shmekel" is going to be hard for me to explain on the air. how do you say "little penis" to a talk show host? ****OLD TIME RADIO (shows you might be too young to remember)….this time it is a guy names fibber and his wife mollie. THE PAST ****YENTA YACK FROM THE BACK OF THE HACK (what they are talking about in the yellow mobile conveyance lounge)….the yankees have a new baseball player named johny damon who is getting $15 million a year for the next four years. the yankees made him get a shave and a haircut. ****THE WHITE FEATHER (given to the coward of the week)....the "winner" or should we say "loser" is peter kalikow who sold new york city down the drain in december. COWARD ****THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY (what the media didn't tell you)....new york city taxi drivers gouged the public during the recent transit strike. they were told to do it by the city and they did it. ****STAY INDOORS IF IT RAINS (keep dry)…."winter wonderland" at the new york historical society through january. the museum is at 2 west 77th street. UMBRELLA TIME ****THE EARL THEATER (it used to be on 161st street in the bronx. now it is here and this month's feature is "park avenue" which shows you how you are so poor because you don't live on this avenue with the rich people. PARK (please note: when playing a movie on your computer, you should diminish the size of the frame. if you have a problem, please contact us. **AND THAT NEAT MOVIE HOUSE ALWAYS SHOWED A DOUBLE FEATURE AND HERE WE ARE WITH A SECOND FLICK. this is a wonderful trip around new york city in the famous yellow mobile conveyance lounge. HONK HONK ****THE HEY ABBOTT AWARD (an epistle about life)....awarded to three members of the military at fort hamilton, new york as representatives of the entire untied states army and its disinterest in the well being of its soldiers. EPISTLE ****TAKE A HIKE (discovering where the famous and infamous spots are) ….nathan hale who was the first person executed for spying for america during the revolutionary war. he lived at third avenue and 65th street. ****CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE BIZARRE (hard to believe)....the car thieves in new york city are now stealing only doors from the cars. it is not a big deal if the owner doesn't mind a draft as he/she drives. ****POSSIBILITIES (could it not be?)....that this young soldier will now go on to hollywood? he was voted the most handsome soldier in the united states army. ****STOP THE MUSIC (do you know what tv show this theme came from?)….the audio on the television shows was better than the show most of the time. a hint is "it is a western family." TV ****JASON BLAIR AWARD (for the worst journalism during the previous week)….to the new york city media who treated the 28 hour late train from florida as some kind of funny human interest story rather than pointing out that amtrak is run by people who are pure crap and probably thieves to boot. ****THE MOST WANTED TOUR IN THE BIG APPLE…. here are some happy visitors. you too can have a tour by going to TOUR INFO **to listen to what other happy tourists had to say about the tour, just go AUDIO **to see some additional happy tourists perform in short video productions go VIDEO **to hear broadcast spots about some of the places where folks are taken to, listen to these commercials that were created for a "visit new york city promotion" at SPOTS ****CELEBRITY SIGHTING (media adulation)….he has the largest morning drive show audience in the world and he spent a week with the gabman. STAR ****JOKE DU JOUR (told to me by the passengers)….this week the punch line is "maybe you should have dropped you pants and then you would have had a claim for disability" and you can hear it at AUDIO ****TO HEAR A RECENT GABBY CABBY BROADCAST, CLICK HERE. LISTEN ****TO SEE GABBY CABBY TV PRESENTATIONS, CLICK HERE. SEE ****LISTEN TO THE LATEST VERSION OF "NEW YORK, NEW YORK….it is written and sung by jack servello LISTEN ****NEW YORK CITY SHOWCASE (DESIGNER LINE OF CLOTHING)….see it all at SWELL