JUST PRESS THE START BUTTON IF YOU WANT TO HEAR THE MUSIC….

the song is “jail for christmas” by dean acebedo which is where the subject of this week’s epistle tookie williams is certainly not to be…..maybe. possibly.

****NEW YORK CITY SHOWCASE (DESIGNER LINE OF CLOTHING)….see it all at SWELL

****LATE BREAKING NEWS (updated daily)…. it is our blog which changes every day. this time you can click on TODAY but in the future, you can go to it directly each day at http://epistle.blogs.com/.

****THIS IS WHERE YOU CAN FIND WHAT PRESIDENT BUSH IS DOING…. MR. BUSH

****TWO WARS ARE BETTER THAN ONE…. some people die, some people make profits with u.s. army contracts. WAR

****THE GABBY CABBY FIELD OFFICE IS OPEN IN IRAQ…. this week's exclusive true tale is that the only people having time off is the terrorists. they don’t work 24 hours a day seven days a week like the american military people do. the bad guys take their families to the sea by the sea by the beautiful sea.

****THERE IS A SHORTAGE OF FUNERAL DIRECTORS EVEN THOUGH THERE IS NO ROOM IN THE BIG APPLE CEMETERIES….so, the professionals who do the deed are going to local high schools to recruit kids for their industry. the pay is not bad but what would digger o’dell the friendly undertaker say about all this? DEAD

****THE BIG APPLE IS FLOODED WITH RATS SO THE CITY FATHERS HAVE STARTED THE NEW YORK CITY RODENT CONTROL ACADEMY….here is a pix of one of our rats. only kidding. but, it is a serious problem they tell me even though i very rarely see one. the rats are more afraid of us than we are of them. will the academy have a football team and cheerleaders? RATS

****SPEAK NEW YAWK (people will wonder at your sophistication)….”alter kakher” is an old fart which is an old person which is someone who is over the hill which is someone in their twilight zone.

****OLD TIME RADIO (shows you might be too young to remember)….this time it is a guy names fibber and his wife mollie. THE PAST

****THE GENERAL CUSTER MEDAL (given to one of our current military minds, not so bright) …. lt. col. michael brian wheeler a reservist who has stolen thousands of dollars from the military while in iraq. he also dealt in illegal weapons. he was the pride of amherst junction in wisconsin where in the vietnam days the folks in that state ran off to canada to avoid the draft.

****THE SNEAKY CAMERA (the hidden camera)….a growing collection of new yorkers are unaware that they are being watched by a certain taxi driver. new ones are added from time to time. take a peep at SNEAKY

****YENTA YACK FROM THE BACK OF THE HACK (what they are talking about in the yellow mobile conveyance lounge)….the number of fake $100 bills that are floating around the big apple during this holiday season. all you need is a bottle of bleach to join the fun.

****QUIET PLEASE, THIS IS THE LIBRARY (get away from the din of life)….”macdougal street ghosts” by hesper anderson and published by simon & schuster. it takes place in our greenwich village area which is one of my sights on my tours.

****THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY (what the media didn't tell you)....asthma is on the rise in new york city and it is a direct result of the 900,000 vehicles that come into the big apple each day. if you are coming here for a vacation don’t stay longer than a week which according to medical authorities will keep you safe.

****STAY INDOORS SOMETIMES (especially if it is very cold)…. go to the museum of the city of new york which is at 103rd street and fifth avenue. it costs $7 per person, but the gabby cabby will give you free admission tickets if you just say pretty please to him. OUR TOWN

****THE EARL THEATER (it used to be on 161st street in the bronx. now it is here and this month's feature is "park avenue" which shows you how you are so poor because you don't live on this avenue with the rich people. PARK

(please note: when playing a movie on your computer, you should diminish the size of the frame. if you have a problem, please contact us.

**AND THAT NEAT MOVIE HOUSE ALWAYS SHOWED A DOUBLE FEATURE AND HERE WE ARE WITH A SECOND FLICK. this is a wonderful trip around new york city in the famous yellow mobile conveyance lounge. HONK HONK

****THE HEY ABBOTT AWARD (an epistle about life)....arnold of california is truly just a big schmuck. EPISTLE

****TAKE A HIKE (discovering where the famous and infamous spots are) …. gloria swanson lived at 114 east 52nd street in the 1920’s. GLORIA

****THE $1,000 INCOGNITO CAPER (a new challenge to the fat cats).... goes to general william s. wallace the commander of tradoc who was probably the guy who selected mccann erickson to be the new advertising agency for the united states army. obviously willie has never visited the new york city office of mccann which is filled with folks who hate the military and are today’s hippies. how about visiting incognito willie? you make a quick thousand bucks if you do it.

****ACTION, CAMERA, ROLL IT (a small vignette of the big apple)….folks watching their ibods on the subway and the buses, but is the transit authority going to ban them because many of them have pornographic videos in them? QUIET ON THE SET

****STOP THE MUSIC (do you know what tv show this theme came from?)….the audio on the television shows was better than the show most of the time. a hint is "it is a western family." TV

****JASON BLAIR AWARD (for the worst journalism during the previous week)….the new york times finally admitted that the white guy with the nasty look behind rosa parks in the famous picture of her on the birmingham bus was actually a reporter and the photo was a set up.

****THE MOST WANTED TOUR IN THE BIG APPLE…. here are some happy visitors. you too can have a tour by going to TOUR INFO

**to listen to what other happy tourists had to say about the tour, just go AUDIO

**to see some additional happy tourists perform in short video productions go VIDEO

**to hear broadcast spots about some of the places where folks are taken to, listen to these commercials that were created for a "visit new york city promotion” at SPOTS

****CELEBRITY SIGHTING (media adulation)….three old folks named peter, paul and mary. they were in my childhood when i was a communist. STAR

****JOKE DU JOUR (told to me by the passengers)….this week the punch line is “he is the guy who is shaving you” and you can hear it at AUDIO

****TO HEAR A RECENT GABBY CABBY BROADCAST, CLICK HERE. LISTEN

****TO SEE GABBY CABBY TV PRESENTATIONS, CLICK HERE. SEE

****LISTEN TO THE LATEST VERSION OF "NEW YORK, NEW YORK….it is written and sung by jack servello LISTEN

****NEW YORK CITY SHOWCASE (DESIGNER LINE OF CLOTHING)….see it all at SWELL