08/21/05: The Week of August 21, 2005 JUST PRESS THE START BUTTON IF YOU WANT TO HEAR THE MUSIC…. the song is “fly me to the moon” by sarah vaughan. listen to it whilst you read the true tale about “flying.” ****NEW YORK CITY SHOWCASE (DESIGNER LINE OF CLOTHING)….see it all at SWELL ****LATE BREAKING NEWS (updated daily)…. it is our blog which changes every day. this time you can click on TODAY but in the future, you can go to it directly each day at http://epistle.blogs.com/. ****THIS IS WHERE YOU CAN FIND WHAT PRESIDENT BUSH IS DOING….MR. BUSH ****TWO WARS ARE BETTER THAN ONE…. some people die, some people make profits with u.s. army contracts. WAR ****FLYING TO THE MOON IS SAFER THAN FLYING TO NEW YORK CITY….the number of airplanes mistakenly ordered to fly too close to one another in the skies over the big apple has increased. there have been 13 close calls in the last thirty days. keep in mind that the three airports are operated by the port authority of new york/ new jersey port authority which built the world trade center. the construction of those two buildings has now been questioned by some engineers. ****MONSIGNOR MAKES IT EASY FOR CATHOLIC CHURCH BASHERS….first he gets caught napping with a babe in a motel. then, it turns out that he was making about $280,000 a year. and now, it is revealed that he started his relationship with the girl when she was somewhat younger. this guy was the boss of st. patrick’s cathedral on fifth avenue, a major new york city tourist attraction. ****WOULD YOU HAVE BEEN TERRIFIED AS THESE THREE BLACKS APPROACHED YOU IN THE SUBWAY?....only if you were an idiot racist. they are actually musicians and the subways are just filled with the sound of music this summer. ****SPEAK NEW YAWK (people will wonder at your sophistication)….”macher” a big shot. ****OLD TIME RADIO (shows you might be too young to remember)….this time it is "blondie." THE PAST ****THE SNEAKY CAMERA (the hidden camera)….a growing collection of new yorkers are unaware that they are being watched by a certain taxi driver. new ones are added from time to time. take a peep at SNEAKY ****YENTA YACK FROM THE BACK OF THE HACK (what they are talking about in the yellow mobile conveyance lounge)….the new york city area restaurant where a server put down on the lunch bill that the customer was “jewish.” we think it is a great idea. everyone should now be called by what they are. ****THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY (what the media didn't tell you)....the new york times is building its new headquarters on eminent domain land with a government subsidy. the times has also been given the power to bar from the building foreign government offices, job training centers, auction houses, child care centers, homeless assistance centers and any business that would have people coming in without an appointment. military storm troopers will probably serve as doormen. ****STAY INDOORS IF IT RAINS (keep dry).... the museum at the fashion institute of technology on seventh avenue at 27th street is a good place to go to see everything you ever wanted to know about clothing. UMBRELLA TIME ****THE EARL THEATER (it used to be on 161st street in the bronx. now it is here and this month's feature is "park avenue" which shows you how you are so poor because you don't live on this avenue with the rich people. PARK (please note: when playing a movie on your computer, you should diminish the size of the frame. if you have a problem, please contact us. **AND THAT NEAT MOVIE HOUSE ALWAYS SHOWED A DOUBLE FEATURE AND HERE WE ARE WITH A SECOND FLICK. this is a wonderful trip around new york city in the famous yellow mobile conveyance lounge. HONK HONK ****THE HEY ABBOTT AWARD (an epistle about life)....this lady works for a newspaper called “usa today” and she wants to know everything about you she can.. EPISTLE ****TAKE A HIKE (discovering where the famous and infamous spots are) ….cary grant lived at 229 west 46th street. the building is now the church of scientology. ****CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE BIZARRE (hard to believe)....blue boxes marked “homeland security” are appearing around the big apple. they are designed to sense gas and we don’t mean the kind that comes from over eating. ****POSSIBILITIES (could it not be?)....the new automobile parking cards (instead of parking meters) will be able to track people just the way the metro cards do on the subway and the buses. time for the new york city civil liberties union to be a pain in the ass again. ****STOP THE MUSIC (do you know what tv show this theme came from?)….the audio on the television shows was better than the show most of the time. a hint is "he had a white horse and an indian sidekick." TV ****JASON BLAIR AWARD (for the worst journalism during the previous week)….the reports that the four star general kevin byrnes was thrown out because he was in a gay relationship. absolutely not true, but if it had been a gay relationship, he could now run for mayor of san franciso. why was he really sacked? we know. ****THE MOST WANTED TOUR IN THE BIG APPLE…. here are some happy visitors. you too can have a tour by going to TOUR INFO **to listen to what other happy tourists had to say about the tour, just go AUDIO **to see some additional happy tourists perform in short video productions go VIDEO **to hear broadcast spots about some of the places i take folks to, listen to these commercials that were created for a "visit new york city promotion" at SPOTS ****CELEBRITY SIGHTING (media adulation)….donald didn’t want ivana, but the press sure does. she even has her own web site. STAR ****JOKE DU JOUR (told to me by the passengers)….this week the punch line is “indians do not ride with saddles” and you can hear it at AUDIO ****TO HEAR A RECENT GABBY CABBY BROADCAST, CLICK HERE. LISTEN ****TO SEE GABBY CABBY TV PRESENTATIONS, CLICK HERE. SEE ****LISTEN TO THE LATEST VERSION OF "NEW YORK, NEW YORK….it is written and sung by jack servello LISTEN