06/12/05: The Week of June 12, 2005 ****RIDING RHYTHMS….this is music from new york city that you can let play in the background as you read the true tales. written by jack servello and sung by frank sinatra. LISTEN ****LATE BREAKING NEWS (updated constantly)…. TODAY ****THIS IS WHERE YOU CAN FIND WHAT PRESIDENT BUSH IS DOING….MR. BUSH ****TWO WARS ARE BETTER THAN ONE (some people die, some people make profits with u.s. army contracts.) WAR ****THEY CAN'T FILE AN INSURANCE CLAIM BECAUSE THEY CAN'T SHOW THEIR CARS….the side of a hill fell on a bunch of automobiles and buried them, but the insurance companies will not pay for the cars because they don't know what is the condition of the vehicles. if this weren't a true tale, you would think it was a gag. it was a hill over the henry hudson parkway. SLIDE ****RUSSELL CROWE IS A BULLY AND NOW HE IS A LIAR….first he hits a mercer hotel porter in the face with a telephone. now, he is telling everyone that he got special treatment when he was in the new york city slammer. by the way, the porter he bludgeoned is not available to press charges. where is he? HOTEL ****THE GOOD FOLK FROM ILLINOIS DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU CAN'T BARBECUE IN NEW YORIK CITY….weber barbecue grills made a commercial showing a new yorker barbecuing on his terrace, but new york city fire regulations strictly forbid that. where can you barbecue in this city? GRILL ****SPEAK NEW YAWK (people will wonder at your sophistication)….the classic one is "oy" and there is a real need for this word. ****OLD TIME RADIO (shows you might be too young to remember)….this month's broadcast is "amos and andy." THE PAST ****YENTA YACK FROM THE BACK OF THE HACK (what they are talking about in the yellow mobile conveyance lounge)…. the two new york u.s.army officers who appear to have been murdered by their own men in iraq. a former u.s. soldier (39) years will tell what this story is all about. ****THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY (what the media didn't tell you)....mayor bloomberg told the fifth avenue association this past week not to be hostile to the puerto ricans who were having their annual parade. he was talking to the wrong people. listen to the MUSIC. ****STAY INDOORS IF IT RAINS (museum mania)....chelsea art museum at 556 west 22nd st. this is a great place to visit because the neighborhood is so interesting also (if it stops raining). CHELSEA ****THE EARL THEATER (it used to be on 161st street in the bronx. now it is here and this month's feature is "park avenue" which shows you how you are so poor because you don't live on this avenue with the rich people. PARK (please note: when playing a movie on your computer, you should diminish the size of the frame. if you have a problem, please contact us. **AND THAT NEAT MOVIE HOUSE ALWAYS SHOWED A DOUBLE FEATURE AND HERE WE ARE WITH A SECOND FLICK. this is a wonderful trip around new york city in the famous yellow mobile conveyance lounge. HONK HONK ****THE HEY ABBOTT AWARD (an epistle about life)....his name is perry traquina and he seems to have money to throw away on an airline. EPISTLE ****TAKE A HIKE (discovering new york city)….getting away from the stress of the big apple by making believe you are adrift at sea. this is suggested only to romantic passengers. ****CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE BIZARRE (people are people)....designers, architects and urban planners who know nothing about new york city taxi cabs have decided that they are going to redesign them. ****JASON BLAIR AWARD (for the worst journalism during the previous week)….the economist magazine who never tells you who actually writes its articles had a story about blair and bush wanting to give away lots of money to africa. the idiot who wrote the article called american taxpayers "stingy." by the way, we can't find one black here in harlem who wants his/her money to go to africa. ****AMMA'S KITCHEN (a recipe….this is what you would find cooking in a nyc home)….you don't have to be swedish to enjoy swedish meatballs. GOOD EATS ****THE MOST WANTED TOUR IN THE BIG APPLE…. you too can have a tour by going to TOUR INFO **to listen to what happy tourists had to say about the tour, just go AUDIO **to see the tourists perform in short video productions go VIDEO **to hear broadcast spots about some of the places i take folks to, listen to these six commercials that were created for a "visit new york city promotion" at SPOTS ****CELEBRITY SIGHTING (media adulation)….most of us grew up on alan alda. first time, a celeb has been spotted twice in two weeks. STAR ****JOKE DU JOUR (told to me by the passengers)….this week the punch line is "you have done nothing but complain" and you can hear it at AUDIO ****IF YOU WANT TO HEAR A RECENT GABBY CABBY BROADCAST, CLICK HERE. LISTEN ****IF YOU WANT TO SEE GABBY CABBY TV PRESENTATIONS, CLICK HERE. SEE