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05/29/05: The Week of May 29, 2005
****RIDING RHYTHMS….this is music that will play quite nicely in the
background as you read the true tale about hillary
clinton being against old people having
sex. the music is by “right said fred.” LISTEN
****LATE BREAKING NEWS (updated constantly)…. TODAY
****TWO WARS ARE BETTER
THAN ONE (some people die, some people make profits with u.s. army contracts.) WAR
****HILLARY CLINTON IS NOT ONLY AGAINST HER HUSBAND HAVING SEX, SHE DOESN’T
WANT OLD PEOPLE TO DO THE MUFFKY FUFFKY…. she has started a campaign in new
york to stop the government from giving six free
sex pills a month to the grandfathers. the grandmothers are not too happy
about it either.
****NEWSTAND DEALER THREATENS TO BOMB ANYONE WHO SHOWS A PICTURE OF SADDAM
HUSSEIN IN HIS UNDERWEAR…this wacko was arrested, but the gabman has hired twenty four hour bodyguards. did you
see the picture in last week’s true tales? here is a picture of the
newsstand dealer not at his work because he is at the funny farm.
****CHASE BANK VICE
PRESIDENT TRIES TO LOOK LIKE SADDAM BY RUNNING WITH ONLY A RUBBER ON HIS
WILLIE….police think that this prominent new york
city banker with the prominent new york city bank
was covering the most recognizable part of his body so he could not be
identified. was he protecting his assets? he attacked a female jogger who
turned out to be a lady cop. this is a picture of the headquarters of the
chase in case you want to go there and see if you can get a peak at our new
financial celebrity’s willie. WILLIE
****DON’T YOU JUST WISH
YOU COULD GO TO COLLEGE INSTEAD OF WORKING?....at brooklyn
college the chairman of the sociology department said the people who believe
in god are “moral retards”. at new york university, the dean of the
medical school didn’t quite get the hippocratic
oath right. the best entertainment in town is going to college
commencements.
BROOKLYN COLLEGE
NEW YORK UNIVERSITY
****PHILOSOPHY FROM THE
WORLD OF HACK (people will wonder at your sophistication)….the average
person falls asleep in seven minutes.
****OLD TIME RADIO
(shows you might be too young to remember)….this month's broadcast is
"the aldrich family." THE PAST
****YENTA YACK FROM THE
BACK OF THE HACK (what they are talking about in the yellow mobile
conveyance lounge)….the man who walked into a police station looking for some
information. the man was immediately arrested because his wanted poster was
on the wall next to the desk sergeant. the bastard was wanted for robbing
taxi drivers.
****THE STORY BEHIND
THE STORY (what the media didn't tell you)....the united nations claims it
is for the environment and proposes a conference called the “forum on
forests.” did you know that the united nations is the number one user of
paper in the world. they are responsible for the deaths of 500,000 trees a
year. most of its documents are only used for a few days and then
discarded. UN
****STAY INDOORS IF IT
RAINS (museum mania)....go to louis armstrong’s house at 34-56 107th street in queens. he
won’t be there but his music will. he never wanted to be a fat cat and live
in manhattan. LOUIS
****THE EARL THEATER
(it used to be on 161st street in the bronx. now
it is here and this month's feature is "sounds of the subway"
which shows what some of the illegal aliens are doing. MEXICO
(please note: when
playing a movie on your computer, you should diminish the size of the
frame. if you have a problem, please contact us.
**AND THAT NEAT MOVIE
HOUSE ALWAYS SHOWED A DOUBLE FEATURE AND HERE WE ARE WITH A SECOND FLICK.
this is a wonderful trip around new york city in
the famous yellow mobile conveyance lounge. HONK HONK
****THE HEY ABBOTT AWARD (an epistle about life)....the most anti american resident of the greater new york city area. he is a fat cat, makes a bundle of
money, but he and his wife just don’t like the united states. it is william schulz and his wife beth graham. EPISTLE
****TAKE A HIKE
(discovering new york city)….the fire department
which is responsible for emergency medical treatment sprinkles their
ambulances here, there, and everywhere. how come? NYFD
****CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE BIZARRE (people are people)....a hair braider
and a client got into a dispute about opening the door for some cooler air
at the beauty parlor. the hair braider ended the dispute by killing the
client. i guess she will not get a tip.
****POSSIBILITIES
(could it not be?)....that you are going to get killed by a hit and run
driver when you visit new york city? so far this
year there have been seventeen killings on our streets. hit and run is
going to be reclassified as murder in the near future.
****AMMA'S KITCHEN (a
recipe….this is what you would find cooking in a nyc
home)…. lentil tomato soup with a nice cool extra. GOOD
EATS
****JASON BLAIR AWARD
(for the worst media activity during the previous week)….to the sulzberger family that is firing one hundred ninety new
york times employees because of economic problems
and to nbc tv for
planning on getting rid of katie kourac’s producer (the today show) because of a
colossal decline in ratings. we told you that there is trouble in the world
of media because most people are getting tired of the bull.
****GOING OUT (a
different type of place to dine)….if you just happen to be going to the
fort meade u.s. army base on military business,
make sure you reconnoiter the sapphire restaurant at 13308 laurel bowie
road in laurel maryland. it has a dish called
sapphire biriyani with rice and chicken and lamb
and all kinds of good spices. it is fantastic.
****THE MOST WANTED
TOUR IN THE BIG APPLE…. you too can have a tour by going to TOUR INFO
**to hear what happy
tourists had to say about the tour, just go AUDIO
**to see the tourists
perform in short video productions go VIDEO
****CELEBRITY SIGHTING (media adulation)….jack nicholson
still looking good. STAR
****JOKE DU JOUR (told
to me by the passengers)….this week the punch line is “one of them is a
cannibal and you can hear it at AUDIO
****IF YOU WANT TO HEAR
A RECENT GABBY CABBY BROADCAST, CLICK HERE. LISTEN
****IF YOU WANT TO SEE
GABBY CABBY TV PRESENTATIONS, CLICK HERE. SEE
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