 01/25/04: The Week of January 25. 2004 ****LETTER FROM BAGHDAD (from our correspondents in our iraq office)….could it be true? american newspaper reporters packing heat?…carrying guns? wait a minute. something is wrong here. we thought that the media considered the war in iraq as a sports event with the two sides being equal. they must be carrying their own guns and hiring $13,000 a month bodyguards to protect themselves from the united states army.
****BABY, IT IS STILL COLD IN NEW YORK CITY….cops rounding up the homeless (except for the two that were found frozen to death. a lady was killed when she stepped on to a consolidated edison (the local electric company) street grating (there may be many more ready to kill). the company reports they are making oodles of money because of high electricity usage (except for the people they turn off for non-payment). there have been close to 6,000 pleas a day for help about no heat called into the city's emergency line. the city is making lots of money on this cold weather having already given out more than $1 million in fines to people who did not shovel their sidewalks. CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO
****TOUR DU JOUR….(the best tour in the city of new york, ever)….here is another reason to take a tour with me. you get to make unlimited phone calls in the united states while you are here in the big apple. you would usually pay to tell the folks back home just how great this city is, but you are going to do it for nothing. the usual fees are waived. CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO ****MOBSTER MUST HAVE HOLE IN HIS HEAD….his real name is louis daidone, but he likes to be called louie bagels. he whacked some guy and left the body in the trunk of his car which is how he got caught. here is an exclusive interview with louie. CLICK HERE FOR SOUND ****YENTA YACK FROM THE BACK OF THE HACK (what they are talking about in my yellow mobile conveyance lounge)….suddenly jewish new yorkers know something about a possible jewish prime minister of the united kingdom. his name is michael howard. it has been reported that he is having cosmetic surgery to add hair to his head. you just know that the gag on the streets of the big apple would be that he is really getting his nose fixed.
****BIGGEST DOPE OF THE WEEK….Stone Phillips, an anchor man for the nbc tv network.. he did a "dateline show" this past week which may have actually promoted child sex in cambodia. CLICK HERE FOR THE EPISTLE
****ACTION, CAMERA, ROLL IT (a small vignette of the big apple)….lou gagliotto picking up garbage. he has done it for 46 years for the new york city sanitation department and has never missed a day's work. that is 11,0001 days in row. he is 75 years old. CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO ****CELEBRITY SIGHTING….for the first time ever a member of the cast of "friends" is spotted on the streets of new york city where the tv series is supposed to take place but never filmed here. david schwimmer is the guy who gets the honor. CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO ****JOKE DU JOUR…. "the doctor says that you are going to die." CLICK HERE TO HEAR THE JOKE |
