****I CAN’T HEAR WHAT YOU ARE SAYING…can you please talk a little louder? it seems we are all going deaf in new york city. if you are coming to my city, please bring cotton for your ears.

****TOUR DU JOUR…. (the best tour in the city of new york, ever)….this guy and his wife took a tour with me ten years ago and he proposed to her whilst here. now look and see what has happened to him and her. it pays to take a tour with me. he now works for anheuser-busch, a beer company in st. louis.

****AND SPEAKING OF ST. LOUIS….let me tell you why i like peabody energy corporation, a st. louis company that is suing merck, a pharmaceutical company, which is a bastard. (ooops, can i use that word on the radio?) CLICK HERE FOR PEABODY / CLICK HERE FOR MERCK

****BUT, THE REAL CORPORATION CREEP FOR THIS WEEK IS….pepsi cola that makes gatorade, which i happen to think tastes like piss. parents of soldiers asked pepsi if we could buy it at a discount for the american troops in iraq who happen to like it. (it is a very jock thing for kids to drink). pepsi said get lost. now, they have opened a factory in iraq to make it and sell it there. CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

****YENTA YACK FROM THE BACK OF THE HACK (what they are talking about in my yellow mobile conveyance lounge)….lack of heat. everyone is cold. the landlords are bastards. (ooops, i used that word again). CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

****MOST CREATIVE BULLSHIT OF THE WEEK….a british couple was arrested for leaving their six month old daughter in a car. the next time a cop stops you for something use their “cultural misunderstanding” excuse and see where it gets you.

****AL GORE IS COMING TO TOWN…do you remember him? he was the vice president of the united states and then tried to get the big job. he will give a speech on global warming. let us hope the place where he is giving the talk has heat. otherwise, he may freeze his ass off in this cold weather we are having here in the big apple. (can i refer to the former vice president’s possible cold ass on the radio?) CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

****BIGGEST DOPE OF THE WEEK….ernie anastos, a local anchor for cbs who showed a video clip of iraqi terrorists shooting down an american helicopter. the person who made the segment was with the terrorists.

****ACTION, CAMERA, ROLL IT (a small vignette of the big apple)….people lining up to get an autograph from pete rose, famous baseball player and team manager, who cheated and lied and was thrown out of major league baseball. you see, crime does pay, sometimes. CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

****HERE IS SOMETHING A STAY-IN-TOUCH- PERSON CAN CERTAINLY USE….it is called relationshipsecure (it is not owned by my brother in law). it is software that makes it possible to maintain your contact information. i can remember when i had the email addresses of three broadcasters. now, i have more than 3,000 email addresses for my broadcasters. CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

****CELEBRITY SIGHTING….donald trump at the nbc tv studios where we presume he is working on his new tv show which proves everyone will eventually have their own tv show. CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO